I’ve double-bag caddied for 36 holes on 100 degree days.
I’ve worked 70 hour weeks in the office.
I’ve mowed a dozen lawns in one day.
But, there is nothing that could have prepared me enough for the toughest job in the world…
Parenting.
These past few days my wife Brooke has been out of town thus entrusting our two and a half year old and 11 month old to my so called capable hands. I’ll admit that I have had help as my mother is a saint for coming in town to help. In these past two days we have looked at each other and said “How does Brooke do it?”
There have been moments I have been proud of this weekend. There has also been times that I’ve had to ask forgiveness of my mother by stressing out and taking things out on her. I have to do that often to my wife as well so my poor mom is taking it for the team. Hey even Clark Griswold got to lose it here and there in National Lampoon’s Vacation.
I can only come up with one conclusion.
It is time to lighten up and enjoy this process.
I thoroughly love my kids and the being a dad no matter how hard it can be sometimes. This weekend we’ve gone to the pool twice, taken fun walks with our dog Winston, ran around the yard, made up a small inflated pool on our deck, created art, listened to music, ran around the mall, and yes I confess we even watched a little of the PGA Championships and a St. Louis Cardinals game. This is just part of the dad life I suppose and I’m still getting used to it.
I’d propose an end to trying to do this parenting thing alone. Even if you are divorced raising children, you are still not alone. The earlier we admit that we can’t do it all and all of it perfectly, the better off we will be. The more we rely on friends, family, and God to take care of us and give us patience, creativity, and forgiveness, the more fun we will have. I am ready.
If you are single reading this or are married without kids just watch and observe the parents out there. Learn from their mistakes, learn from their successes. Parents can’t imagine life without kids, it’s an adventure.
Both kids are taking naps as I write this by the way. Why am I not napping? Yep, because there is always something to do.
I’d love to hear some of your parenting stories and lessons. How do you get through the hardest days?
PS If you need a good piece of entertainment as a married couple with kids, watch Date Night with Tina Fey and Steve Carell. Last but not least if you didn’t catch the “The Dad Life” video, you’ll love this.
I apologize for the morbid post but I love music and I always find it fascinating to think through life’s ending in its dramatic way.
A great friend and mentor, Terri Adams, reminded me that these blogs will be read by my little girls one day and they can perhaps learn a thing or two about me. No pressure, huh?
I started to think about my favorite music and the type that inspires me more than anything. When Brooke and I got married, we put together a music mix that we gave out to those attending the wedding. It was so much fun compiling the music that most inspired us as a newly married couple.
Why not a funeral music mix?
Sorry but The Rolling Stones “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” didn’t make the list but have fun with me.
I Will Not Take These Things For Granted-Toad the Wet Sprocket. My sister Sarah introduced me to them when she went off to college in 1992. This song provides such a beautiful way to live life with no regrets and to embrace every experience and relationship. Thank you Sarah!
The Bud Light Commercials, especially “Mr. Giant Taco Salad Inventor.” I’m from St.Louis so the tie in works. How can you not bust out laughing? You need a laugh after a funeral.
Heartland by U2. There is something about this song that says “home” to me. Beautiful and underrated song from U2 during the Rattle & Hum age.
Don’t Dream It’s Over by Crowded House: The title says it all. Plus, I just love this band as they continue to evolve from the 1980s.
Remember the Mountain Bed by Wilco. This song, written originally by Woody Guthrie and made popular by Wilco in their Mermaid Avenue albums. It reminds me of falling in love with my wife up on the mountain in Sewanee, Tennessee.
A Sort of Homecoming by U2. This makes me think of a place in my heart coming home whether it be a physical place like Nashville, St. Louis, Kansas City, or Scotland where I have lived. But, it’s also a powerful song about the struggle to move forward in Ireland despite its violent past 100 years.
Into The Mystic by Van Morrison. Yes, both U2 and Van Morrison get multiple songs here. This song is played on repeat during long driving trips. Listen to it and you’ll understand.
The Trapeze Swinger by Iron and Wine. When I first heard this, I felt it was much too long but looking through the lyrics it is quite authentic and just a beautiful piece to inspire by Sam Beam. The lyrics are questionable in meaning to me but his voice and tempo of the song makes me smile, always.
In Christ Alone by Stuart Townend & Keith Getty. I remember hearing this first at church and one of our Young Life kids played violin to it. I was in tears then and everytime it hits Brooke and I hear it we look at each other and the tears come back. The lyrics best capture my faith. Read the story of the song here.
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm…
Jungle Love by Steve Miller Band. Yes, why this song? Oh…it was just the hippie theme song at Castaway, the Young Life camp I attended in 1994 when I became a Christian. How could I forget this song? It makes me want to dance everytime.
God of Wonders (Caedmon’s Call version). This song always gets me pumped up for church or the start of a week and reminded me of the endless possibilities God provides. Never doubt him, dream with him.
Count Thou Fount of Every Blessing (Sufjan Stevens version). I used to hate this song in church. When I heard Sufjan Stevens’ version, it came alive to me and the lyrics blew me away. It reminds me of how much God blesses me in life by friends, family, shelter, and each moment in-between.
Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell. I didn’t discover this song until I heard it at the Opening Ceremony at the 2010 Winter Olympics. How great is that? The song is almost 40 years old now and people still discover it. What a lovely song to help reflect on an honest life of hope while acknowleding some regrets. By the way, I can only think of one regret, quitting Boy Scouts. Funny, huh? But, in the end I know that it all was for a purpose.
Take It Back by Pink Floyd. This song just makes me want to fly.
Wild Mountain Thyme by The Silencers. I fell in love with this song when I lived in Scotland. It reminds me again that I need to bring my wife back to Scotland. Oh, my second home.
And we’ll all go together
To pick wild mountain thyme
All around the purple heather
Will you go?
Will you go?
Lassie will you go?
These Are The Days by Van Morrison. I love Van Morrison, I mean there are not many white people who understand how to incorporate “soul” into their music. The Irish get it. Van “the man” Morrison does that and this song in particular. Most don’t know much about his faith but you get the feel from these lyrics. They will carry me home one day.
These are the days by the sparkling river
His timely grace and our treasured find
This is the love of the one great magician
Turned water into wine
These are the days now that we must savour
And we must enjoy as we can
These are the days that will last forever
and you’ve got to hold them, in your heart
Dance on and live well everyone.
I’m pretty sure this mix will evolve throughout life as new music moves me but it was challenging to put this together and I hope you enjoyed.
For my daughters, I hope you learned more about me in the process and make your own mix tape of life.
What do you see as your top song you’d like played at your funeral?
Why?
Is there a story behind that song to you?
—— additional song added September 18th, 2012 ——
Learn Me Right by Mumford and Sons with Birdy. Such a beautiful song featured in the movie Brave (2012). It makes me want to fly back and run through the hills and mountains of Scotland. It shouts out freedom and dreams. Mumford and Sons also recorded a wonderful sister song version on their 2012 album, Babel.
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